why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
