At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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