The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
