I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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