I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
