OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
