We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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