The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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