I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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