i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
