Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
