By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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