C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were trust falling into bushes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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