HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
