i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think my moral compass just broke
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