Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize