imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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