small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
