Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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