So drunk its hurt
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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