If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
