It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
