his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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