This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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