yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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