Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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