Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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