doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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