She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
