After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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