i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
