I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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