her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize