I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
