White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
