I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
