paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The power of my boobs compel you
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