I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
