You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
