Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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