Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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