I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
