The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
