they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize