I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
