we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
There's always time for handjobs
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
