seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
