Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
