I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize