Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.

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  (714): But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out. http://tfl.nu/5n0s
  Replies (11) Good night (587) Bad night (1080)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (979) Bad night (6201)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.

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  (734): I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me. http://tfl.nu/tn93
  Replies (29) Good night (4674) Bad night (736)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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  (503): The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone" http://tfl.nu/b2m1
  Replies (15) Good night (4687) Bad night (1275)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

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  (419): How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/9rcf
  Replies (20) Good night (1089) Bad night (3615)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1565) Bad night (2037)
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  (510): View more from California

  Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.

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  (510): Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it. http://tfl.nu/z26i
  Replies (4) Good night (2253) Bad night (645)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.

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  (401): Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world. http://tfl.nu/8eb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2734) Bad night (491)
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  (951): View more from California

  omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

  (951): View more from California

  dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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  (951): omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited (951): dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles http://tfl.nu/4z6p
  Replies (7) Good night (1380) Bad night (608)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1649) Bad night (464)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."

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  (503): I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes." http://tfl.nu/i7yc
  Replies (8) Good night (645) Bad night (1383)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.

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  (830): I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic. http://tfl.nu/ur90
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (694)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You mean maximum 5?

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  (306): I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself (1-306): You mean maximum 5? http://tfl.nu/1ybr
  Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (248)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING

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  (504): You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING http://tfl.nu/6ru3
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (207)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?

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  (423): Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail? http://tfl.nu/94aa
  Replies (6) Good night (637) Bad night (201)

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