Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.

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  (843): At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts. http://tfl.nu/humd
  Replies (31) Good night (2461) Bad night (974)
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  (310): View more from California

  I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.

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  (310): I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets. http://tfl.nu/76ec
  Replies (16) Good night (854) Bad night (2895)
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  (347): View more from New York

  You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

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  (347): You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid? http://tfl.nu/2je7
  Replies (34) Good night (906) Bad night (5818)
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  (510): View more from California

  Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.

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  (510): Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today. http://tfl.nu/bpyv
  Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (2068)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2934) Bad night (1205)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

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  (732): why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos? http://tfl.nu/di91
  Replies (14) Good night (3806) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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  (518): Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend. http://tfl.nu/xnkx
  Replies (8) Good night (897) Bad night (1315)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap

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  (281): Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap http://tfl.nu/xw89
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (1271)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.

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  (506): My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out. http://tfl.nu/qizv
  Replies (29) Good night (1071) Bad night (2069)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?

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  (920): Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations? http://tfl.nu/lkp9
  Replies (8) Good night (1502) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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  (250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9
  Replies (18) Good night (1351) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1177) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (551)
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  (818): View more from California

  She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.

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  (818): She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink. http://tfl.nu/8b21
  Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

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  (315): we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury http://tfl.nu/pw29
  Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (338)

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