piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.