uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night