Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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