dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
