ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
