Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
