If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
