You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
