if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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