i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
